Thoughts on earning love

I grew up feeling like I had to be a certain way to be loved. That translated into putting this enormous effort into trying to be perfect. I held myself to that standard which wasn’t possible and I tried to hold other people to that crazy high standard as well.

I want you to know more than anything is that there is nothing, not one single thing you have to do in order to earn my love or for me to be proud of you. I am so proud of the person that you are just in your being. I want as much happiness as you can possibly have in your life. I want it for you!

I want you to make good choices so your life is easier. But none of those things, no choice you make, has any impact over how I feel about you. You are the only true people in my life that I know I can love 100% unconditionally because I love you just for who you are.

My love isn’t dependent on if you are happy or mean or angry, overweight or super thin, super smart, educated, successful…nothing changes how I feel about you. It is innate and amazing!

I hope the person you choose to spend your life with you loves you this way. I hope you learn to love yourself this way. It takes work but it’s worth it. I have found it really just starts giving yourself grace to say I am good and I did my best and to have peace in that.

And if you ever wonder if I’m thinking you should do more, you should do things different, the answer is no. I want you to do things in the way that makes you happy. Your dreams are your choices come true. That doesn’t mean I’ll still be praying and wishing for things to be easier for you, because that’s just what parents do l, but none of that has anything to do with my love how much I value you as a person and how proud I am to be your mother.